Dan Snyder Has Got A Fever…

Blog, Douchebags, Football — October 29, 2009 at 11:23

…and the only prescription, is more censorship!!! Seriously, what a dick this guy is, we’ve already covered this once before in our groundbreaking post Dan Snyder Is A Fucking Asshole, but it is now worth revisiting. The latest news to come out is Dan Snyder hates soldiers in Afghanistan. Well that might be taking it a little bit far, but he sure as hell hates signs from army wives who want to get their message out on live TV. And it doesn’t end there, effective immediately, or possibly weeks ago, or possibly since FedEx existed, no one is sure, all signs carried by fans are banned. Nevermind all the fun ones where ESPN or FOX has their initials reworked into some witty (or often very unwitty) little pun, nevermind the burgundy and gold, sparkly, all-night poster board project some poor girl put her heart and soul in into, no, no, this is the Dan Snyder show and if Danny Boy doesn’t want it in, it doesn’t get in.

Now obviously the reason this is all going down is because the ‘Skins suck, the players can’t perform, the coaches are clueless, the front office acts like it’s the back office, and the tiny elf at the top of food chain refuses to admit he is as lost as a first time fantasy league owner, which is bringing about response from the fans.

A lot of this can be traced back to local radio station 1067 THE FAN who have been doing their best to fuel the fire of what everyone is feeling. And god bless them because we can all count on the other station, ESPN 980, to never mention much of this because the same tiny elf is signing all of their checks. The only option left is for every fan to A) stop going to games and giving this guy your cash in the first place, and B) wear a shirt that says “Worst Owner Ever”, pants that vertically say “Stupid Snyder”, one of those awful scrolling LED belt buckles that says “CERRATO IS NOT VERY BRIGHT”, and as much gear as possible in order to circumvent the no sign rule.

Now there’s still the chance that Snyder’s personal Gestapo will show up and toss you out anyway, which is why if you have a small infant child I beg of you: bring the little tot to the game with a tiny version of your “Worst Owner Ever” shirt. And then when you get thrown out find the first news camera, reporter, or if you have to, YouTube enabled cell phone and tell everyone Dan Snyder threw you and your tiny innocent child out of the game all because you love the Redskins. You just don’t love the tiny elf at the top.

Related Links:
Redskins ban signs at FedEx Field
Censorship at FedEx
Sign of the Times: Repressive Redskins

Tags: am, dan snyder, dc, Featured, football, nfl, redskins, tiny elves, washington