How Not To Rob A Delivery Guy

Blog, Douchebags — February 10, 2010 at 4:17

Being a pizza delivery guy is one of those sketchy jobs where you know that everyone else knows that you’re driving around at night by yourself with a decent wad of cash on you. This makes the job a complete gamble and thus it’s no surprise that a delivery man was in fact robbed after a couple of assholes setup a fake order and then accosted him when he showed up. What maybe isn’t normal is that the two guys were so stupid that after taking the guys money, pizzas, and chicken wings, they proceeded to eat all the food on the way back, tossing the leftovers aside as they went, and spilling sauce every which way. In summary they left a veritable trail of breadcrumbs, or more accurately pizza crumbs, and the cops found them wearing shirts smeared in food and thus the case was solved. If you ever rob a delivery guy, don’t, but if you do make sure to wait on eating the food until later. Also remember that one in three delivery guys is actual a killer cyborg, so you’re taking you’re luck in your hands, true story.

According to police, the two men ran to another apartment in the same complex. Police know this because the numbskulls left the trail of pizza and wing sauce from the scene of the attack to the front door of the apartment where they took the pizza.

​Not only do the pair seem to be lousy thieves, they’re apparently sloppy eaters, too.

When police found the two men, Le-Andre had pizza and wing sauce all over his shirt and pants, which made it even easier for the delivery driver — whom Le-Andre had allegedly attacked just minutes earlier — to identify him as one of the pizza bandits.

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Pizza and Wing Sauce Leads Police to Attackers of Delivery Driver in Mesa

Tags: crime, delivery, delivery guys should carry uzis, dummies, Featured, news story, pizza, robbery